To Prevent Gun Violence, Activist Demands Boycott of All FedEx Customers, Including Self

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MIAMI, FLORIDA–Gun control advocates called for a broad boycott against the shipping company FedEx, which offers price discounts to National Rifle Association members. Now, one activist is expanding that boycott further, by targeting FedEx customers as well.

“It’s the logical next step,” explained Keith Davis, an activist who supports common sense gun control legislation.*
The move comes after earlier pressure campaigns met with some success. Delta and United both decided to rescind the discounts they had offered to NRA members after coming under fire.

However, when FedEx as a company faced similar criticism, it refused to back down. Instead, it released a public statement noting that while it did not agree with the NRA’s policy positions, it was a common carrier and would not price discriminate against organizations based on their political opinions.

This plainly unreasonable position–that politics should not pervade every aspect of life, including shipping and handling–triggered the initial calls for a boycott. And since that boycott has proved ineffectual, activists like Davis say it’s time to increase the pressure by targeting the customers.

The customers “are part of the problem, too,” Davis told The Daily Face Palm. “As long as people continue to ignore the membership pricing discounts offered by shipping companies to political organizations that they disagree with, we’ll never be able to make real change in this country. When you go to mail your nephew a birthday present, you should be thinking about how that decision affects gun violence. It’s that simple.”

Although Davis thinks the broader boycott is necessary, he acknowledged that there are some practical challenges that come with boycotting customers.

First and foremost, it’s hard to know who is on the right side of history and who is still enabling gun violence by shipping with FedEx. Once you have identified an enabler, it was not initially obvious what the next step would be.

“It’s not like you can protest in front of their house,” Davis said. Indeed, he acquired that information firsthand after being promptly served a restraining order for picketing in someone’s front yard.

Now, the preferred boycott tactic is to denounce the offenders on social media with the hashtag #FedExit and cut off all communication until they express fealty to UPS.

But even this led to unexpected complications when Davis discovered to his horror that he had personally received several packages from FedEx. “I felt like a traitor to the cause,” he said.

Since he couldn’t unfriend himself on social media, he resolved to cease all journaling and introspection of any kind to honor the spirit of the boycott.

*This is a satirical post. The activist mentioned and quoted above is not a real person.