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Tuesday, March 20, 2018

FBI Sees Surge in Job Applications After Reports on McCabe’s Retirement Package


WASHINGTON, DC–Last week, outgoing FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe was fired just days before he was set to retire with a full pension at the ripe age of 50. The pension was estimated to worth around $60k per year.*

In the aftermath of the firing, many DC commentators lamented the further politicization of the FBI and the Justice Department. Previously, both institutions had been famous for their record of integrity and lack of scandals.

To make matters worse, experts suggest that the ongoing drama could sap the morale of regular FBI agents, allowing hundreds of random Muslims to go unentrapped, among other devastating consequences.

However, there may be one silver lining for the Bureau: job applications at the FBI are surging.

“It appears that many Americans weren’t aware just how lucrative a career with the federal government can be,” explained one FBI talent recruiter who spoke to The Daily Face Palm. “We’re getting people from all backgrounds–engineering, finance, medicine–who seem to be giving the FBI a second look.”

This theory is also supported by individual applicants reached by The Daily Face Palm. As one put it, “Where else could I work for 20-odd years and retire with a full pension and not-the-VA medical benefits?”




*This is a satirical post.

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