Serious Reactions on Paris Accord Decision

 On Thursday, President Trump made a historic decision to withdraw the US from the Paris Climate Accord, thereby condemning future US generations to a forecast of squalor and/or migrating north to Canada.*

The move was widely panned in the media and around the world. But Trump seemed to be unfazed by the criticism that was raining down on him. When asked by reporters to expand on why he decided to pull the US out of the climate deal, Trump said the following:

Listen, the Paris Agreement was one of the worst deals I’ve ever seen, okay, not as bad as the Iran Deal, where President Obama decided to pay a ransom to Iran and then lie about it, by the way. So it’s not as bad as that, but it’s a very bad deal. It forced us to implement 0 new costly regulations, but that’s not all. We also had to make emission goals that were entirely non-binding and had no repercussions for noncompliance. Naturally, like most things Obama did, this was going to be a huge job killer. Bigly.

But I said, ‘Look, if President Obama can go to Europe and make an empty, entirely symbolic gesture to stop climate change, then by God, I can make an empty, entirely symbolic gesture to promote it.’

But while Trump retained a triumphant posture, many Democrats had a much more somber reaction to the day’s news. Several commented that they had lost all hope that climate change could be mitigated in time.

Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) summed up the sentiments well when he said, “The only way positive change ever happens in this world is when politicians stand up for what’s right and make completely unenforceable promises about what other people will do in the future. That’s what President Barack Obama had the courage to do in Paris, and Trump just undid all of that hard work.”

*This is a satirical post. All quotes cited within are entirely fictional in nature.